Race and diversity issues have always been something I'm passionate about- at least since I left the diversity of McCaskey High School and landed in a majority White Mennonite middle class environment. And I've done a fairly good job of making friends with people from all backgrounds, but I'm realizing this week that I've been stifling that part of myself. Part of it is my own fear, I think: fear of what being vocal would require of me, fear of stepping out of my comfort zone to actually change something. Beyond that though, I fear that every time I mention to my closest friends my frustration with the lack of racial and cultural diversity, they may feel that I am directly devaluing them- since they are pretty much all white.
These closest friends are the ones who accept me unconditionally and make me feel at home; but they are not passionate about this like I am. We don't share the soap box on this one.
So I've supported them in their endeavors to create a more environmentally sustainable campus, I've backed them on their hippyness, and we've encouraged each other's progressive opinions about political issues- but I've always felt like I was repeating myself when I talk about race and diversity. I feel like a broken record- but voicing my opinions in my apartment isn't changing anything.
At the beginning of this week, I discovered that I can graduate this year, if I choose to. My scholarship lasts four years, but with one last full (18 semester hours) semester, I could receive my bachelor's degree. Part of me really wants to do that and move on to learn Arabic somewhere, but part of me is calling me here. And today I figured out why- while there is a significant number of African American students at EMU, there are no African American professors. And with support and some others to work with, I can do something about that!
So I think I might stick around. I have a purpose for staying and a passion for what I want to see happen.
Finally my classes on Social change and community organizing will be put to good use!
Good for you, Jamila! Do it and pursue your passion! Not everyone needs to be the same! I'm certainly not the same as many others.
ReplyDeleteI may sound selfish but I'd love it if you stuck around too. :)
I wish I had your passion about diversity! There are so many issues to care about and things to be involved in, but you're right, this is also something that needs to be talked about and more than that, acted on.
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