Life Updates, Part 1: New Job

For some reason, putting my heart out to the world has been much more difficult lately. I think my heart has felt more delicate and more vulnerable, which has made it more difficult to be open. But even if I don't bare my soul today, it's probably high time for some updates. And I feel more strongly every day that stories are so important, so I should be sharing mine.

I have had a lot of change in the last few months, and yet so much of my life feels exactly the same. The same ache to be abroad immersed in another culture. The same fears and indecision that often plague my mind. Fortunately, I have found the willpower to make some important decisions in the last few months, and I think it has empowered me. I may only have the space (and your attention span) enough for an update on one area of my life, but hopefully the others will come soon.

In July, a position for adoption caseworker came up at my workplace. The work that was being referred to our adoption unit was becoming too much for the staff, so they were hiring another adoption worker. (For those of you who remember how I got my initial job at COBYS as a foster care caseworker, it was a very similar situation.) I pondered this opportunity for a few days before saying anything to our director. I had been close to the point of burn out at work and really needed a change of pace. I was also feeling like nothing was changing on my caseload; I had literally had the same 14 kids on my caseload for almost a year, with the exception of one child being reunited with her mother and her relative being placed in the same foster home. I hadn't had any new birth families in nearly a year and a half. I needed a learning curve again. So the adoption position seemed attractive and I finally said something to our director and began to have conversations with the adoption supervisor about what the role would look like and whether it was a good fit. The amount of affirmation I received during this process was worth more than I can say; I was told over and over again how valuable I am to the organization. At one point, when I was asking for some direction from the executive team about whether they thought I would be a good fit for the adoption unit, their response was that they really didn't care which unit I was part of as long as I would be staying with COBYS. So if transitioning to the adoption unit meant I would be staying with COBYS longer, that's what they wanted. After months of monotony, feeling like I simply going through the motions and not contributing much, these words were very lifegiving.

There were several concerns I had about switching to the adoption unit, but I felt drawn to the position and decided to accept it. Most of those concerns were relieved within a day of giving my final decision. One hesitation was wondering who I could entrust these kiddos to, since I knew some of my cases were fairly complicated. I was told the next day that my replacement would be someone who had worked for a different department at COBYS and someone with whom I had previously shared cases. I felt confident that she would be able to handle whatever would come up. Of course the process of telling the kids, the families and the caseworkers I was working with wasn't easy, but I'm a people-pleaser, so that was to be expected.

So in August, I began my new position as an adoption caseworker. It's been a huge change of pace, but so far a very good experience. Ironically, as an adoption caseworker, I have actually had more interaction with birth families and extended birth families than I ever did as a foster care caseworker. And because not all of my clients are COBYS families, I am finally working with non-White foster parents (so far, it's a kinship resource). One of my hesitations about switching to the adoption unit had been that I feel so strongly about reunification with birth families, but it has turned out that three of the seven kids I work with right now have either recently returned to their biological parents or placed with a relative, and another one who may be moving back home to his biological mother in the next few months. For those of you who aren't familiar with the child welfare system, I realize this may be confusing. There are four or five different types of work we do, called "units of service," only one of which involves actually finalizing adoptions. Stay tuned for a more detailed description of what I do, hopefully coming in the next few days. :)